I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize