eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize