I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
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found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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