i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
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i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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