shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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