We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
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Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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