I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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