i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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