i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize