The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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