I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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