nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize