I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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