i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize