Dual....:-)
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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