If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
As shirtless as possible
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize