Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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