I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize