I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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