I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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