How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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