You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
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Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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