dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
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The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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