Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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