I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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