You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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