I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize