The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
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there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
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A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There are leaves in my underwear?
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