So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize