Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.

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  (310): Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat. http://tfl.nu/8e48
  Replies (20) Good night (1711) Bad night (5232) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  Need sex. Gaining weight.

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  (347): Need sex. Gaining weight. http://tfl.nu/ag2f
  Replies (12) Good night (511) Bad night (2596) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  where do you find these guys?

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  (703): so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen" (1-703): where do you find these guys? http://tfl.nu/45ye
  Replies (8) Good night (1172) Bad night (3884) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cherish every text you send me

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  (410): I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland (412): I cherish every text you send me http://tfl.nu/05mc
  Replies (49) Good night (6001) Bad night (604)
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  (315): View more from New York

  His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.

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  (315): His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians. http://tfl.nu/73dw
  Replies (13) Good night (6015) Bad night (1473) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls

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  (517): He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls http://tfl.nu/0ix2
  Replies (3) Good night (3106) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice

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  (313): Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice http://tfl.nu/wuko
  Replies (11) Good night (3154) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave

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  (630): all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave http://tfl.nu/0ff9
  Replies (10) Good night (2752) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.

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  (651): Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too. http://tfl.nu/vstu
  Replies (4) Good night (2546) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (+25): View more from

  We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

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  (+25): We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them? http://tfl.nu/7ecx
  Replies (9) Good night (773) Bad night (2406) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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  (925): it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/nvwn
  Replies (10) Good night (1097) Bad night (1798) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.

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  (269): Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/yk34
  Replies (12) Good night (1388) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else

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  (650): sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else http://tfl.nu/g0kz
  Replies (5) Good night (1448) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.

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  (251): We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies. http://tfl.nu/6jxt
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions

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  (951): Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions http://tfl.nu/xeve
  Replies (4) Good night (816) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt

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