apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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