Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize