You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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