Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize