sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
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I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
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Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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