Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
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if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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