She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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