whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
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If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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