Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize