so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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