Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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