That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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