If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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