A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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