I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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