It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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