You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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