its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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