Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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