i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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